A "Daring" Fashion Show

A "Daring" Fashion Show

 

I have always wanted to attend the Fashion Week in Milan or Paris or New York or London or anywhere!  Friday night I had my chance. Ok - it wasn't Italy - but it was an incredible fashion show in Houston.  Fashion Week in Houston is in its 4th year. It lasts four days, takes place at the Wortham Center in the downtown theatre district and this time featured over sixteen designers including several from Houston.

I attended with several friends and we arrived soon after the doors opened to make sure we wouldn't miss a thing. The front entrance to the Wortham was an official red carpet complete with paparazzi surrounding us to take our pictures. Once inside, we located our seats and then went off discovering what there was to see and do.  We happened to wander into The Green Room, (where celebrities are interviewed and performers can relax).  It became our break room throughout the evening to people watch and enjoy a few free cocktails made with a featured new liquor.  

The show was exactly like I always pictured it would be. Beautiful models with similar hair styles wearing the latest designs of famous designers were paraded up and down the runway, all walking with the same hip thrusting move with their arms quietly at their sides and a serious look on their faces.  Except for one. She delighted the crowd when she reached the end of the runway and shimmied her shoulders to swing the fringe on her top and the beads on her shoulders.  I have to admit, there were quite a few outfits that I could picture myself in but I couldn't picture paying the price.

At the end of the evening we were invited to attend the after party with dancing models and thumping pumping music.  We decided the action inside was not worth the additional $20 cover charge at the door, and headed back to our Green Room to relax and recharge.  It was there I met a VIP member of the press. She mentioned that in addition to the fashion event, there were fabulous affairs happening all over town, and she gave me her card to connect with her on them. I shared my delight at having a new adventure seeking partner with my girlfriends.  They teasingly dared me to ask her if she had passes for the after party.  Not being one to be able to resist a dare, (and not being one to enjoy begging people for anything either), I turned the dare into a playful question.  I asked her "Do you happen to know any secret passageways into the after party?".  To my surprise her reply was "as a matter of fact I do, follow me".  And we did.  Holding hands we followed our fearless leader right up the pitch black hallway and carefully edged our way up the dark stairway into the party.  To our delight, in less than a minute we were right in the middle of the action.  We shared a brief good-bye, checked out the party for a short while and headed out into the late evening to our car, still exhilarated from our fashion adventure.

Moral of the story - It never hurts to ask. You just might find yourself being led up a dark stairway into an adventure you would have otherwise missed if you hadn't taken that dare!

Get Real! - Be Rational!

I saw this image on a t-shirt.  The real number is telling the rational number to get real and the rational number is telling the real number to be rational.  It may be something only a math lover will enjoy (I didn't want to bore you with the definitions - you can Google them if you really want to recall the difference) but it started me thinking about being real.  

I frequently attend business meetings - dinners, lunches and other events.  Most of the time I am in the audience and sometimes I am the headliner.  I have observed thousands of presenters that run the gamut from polished, professional and effective to shaking in their boots or reading their entire performance.  Sometimes the polished ones come across too polished.  It seems like they've given the presentation a hundred times before and they are bored with us, or if someone asked them a question it would throw them off their well-prepared script.  They are entertaining but aren't real.  
When you see real you know it.  The presenter has a story to share and does it so well you are wrapped up in the moment along with them.  You may be called to action and want to jump to your feet to follow as soon as you can.  Or it may be subtle - a great idea that you file away to work on later when you get back home or to the office.  Either way - they impact you.

Being real is a risk. You put yourself and your ideas out there for everyone to see.  

Are you ready to step up to the plate and take a risk?  What are you really afraid of?  How will you push past that barrier and move forward? 

Get real!

Quirky Dot Com

One of my favorite television shows to watch is The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.  It is my humor injection for the day.  I delight in his monologues, headlines, Jay Walking (he walks the area near Universal Studios and asks people questions they should know the answer to - their guesses are hilarious), and other regular "bits".  He is a great interviewer in addition to being an all around funny guy.  In one of the segments he had on recently, the creator of the WEB site company Quirky.com showcased some of the products inventors had submitted.  How it works is inventors submit their product idea to the WEB site, they post the details and visitors to the site vote on the idea.  If it gains a certain amount of attention and positive feedback the Quirky Company produces and markets the product with the inventor reaping part of the profits.  They also post ideas that still might need a little work and visitors offer their insight.  It appears to be a great way to get an idea to market when you don't have the resources or the know-how.

Seeing Quirky.com on The Tonight Show activated my creative mind.  The next day I mentioned it to a guy in my indoor cycling class who always seems to have a solution to problems or a gadget in mind to fix them.  At first he said "ideas are a dime a dozen" popping a pin into my balloon of enthusiasm that started a slow leak - but not a bust!  After class we started discussing different ideas we had for products and my enthusiasm was revived.  He did have some pretty good ideas for products - even a fitness related one - and we both contemplated submitting ideas to Quirky.com. We will see where this goes.

We all have them - idea killers. People who trash our idea or shake their head or give us less than enthusiastic responses when we reveal our latest crazy dream.  Don't let them bring you down. There are a variety of ways to handle them - don't share your ideas with them, share but ignore any negative response, or ask them what they like about the idea, what they might change or what part of the idea is a concern and politely ask for any suggestions. You just might end up with a better idea and someone one your side.

A Raise - Ask and You Shall Receive

I worked in technical sales in the oil and gas industry as a contract consultant after a steady career as an employee in the power industry.  I loved the flexibility of my contractor schedule - part time to full time each week depending on what I had going on at the time.  It allowed me to take care of my growing boys, support my traveling husband, grow my training business and teach fitness classes.  

One of the salesmen I worked with advised me to raise my contract rate every year.  I had always been an employee before, receiving annual reviews and raises on a regular basis and never had to ask for a raise - or should I say - never thought of asking for a raise outside of those constricts (now that I think of it - why hadn't I?). So asking for a raise was something I knew I should do but I wasn't familiar with the process.  I immediately started to write out all of the reasons I deserved a raise as back-up to the amount I was planning on asking for.  My salesman friend said, "you don't need a list of why you deserve a raise, you just go in there and ask for it!".  He made it sound so simple and logical.  I kept vacillating between justifying and just doing it - and finally wrote a brief letter stating my new rate effective January 1.  

I walked into the executive's office and presented my letter to him after briefly stating my reason for being there, to present my new rates. He opened and read the letter, his mouth gaped open with shock, he then looked up at me and causally said "ok".  And that was it.

Wow! How many times do we hold ourselves back from the things we deserve or new things we want to try by doubting ourselves.  It does always help to have a backup plan (some justification, analysis or research), but don't paralyze yourself with the process.  

Ask and you shall receive.  

Dare I Say What I Really Think?

I recently attended a meeting of professional women in the energy industry.  The speaker's topic was related to the partnership of industry and academia.  For an ice-breaking table topic the speaker posted the picture of Marissa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo, on the cover of Vogue magazine and asked, "Does she look like a CEO?".

Our table grew quiet for a few minutes as we all scanned the picture.  I saw a a very beautiful woman in a very blue and professional dress posed horizontal and upside down on a crisp white lounge chair.  Very Vogue - I thought.  It struck me as fun, beautiful, powerful and professional.  Other views came forth.  Some saying it really wasn't professional for a CEO. Everyone is welcome to their opinion.  

It was easy to state my opinion but I am sure not so much for others. Especially if after hearing others speak at the table, they realize their opinion varied greatly from the norm.  

I saw it as a great lesson in risk taking.  Are you willing to share an opinion that is different than the group's?  If you do or you don't - what harm will result? Or what good or positive steps forward will be acknowledged or missed?

I see Marissa Mayer as a risk taker and applaud her actions.  She posed for this picture, knowing the conversations that would ensue, but was not afraid. Her reputation and her performance stand strong.

I recall speaking with a meeting attendee before everyone was seated and the meeting actually began. I said it was possible to move up in the corporate world without selling your soul.  She looked back at me with surprise, hope and a "how can I do that?" attitude.  Look at Marissa, there is one example for you right there.

Dare I say what I really think?  Yes, I dare.

If you would like to see the picture and article, follow the link below.
http://www.vogue.com/magazine/article/hail-to-the-chief-yahoos-marissa-mayer/#1

Be the One to Get It Done

Speaking up can be quite a risk, from the corporate world to a personal situation.  If you speak up at work, depending on the culture of your organization, it can be a career changer - sometimes career suicide.  If we speak up in a personal situation we may lose a friendship or more.  People sometimes forget that doing nothing is also a risk.  If we don't speak up, it could possibly be more detrimental than saying what is on our mind.

A young professional was getting frustrated with individuals from another department that were supposed to be showing up to meetings and were late or completely absent.  In the meetings, summer students were making presentations on their summer projects.  They spent countless hours preparing for the event as their future opportunities at the company might be affected by this performance. The individuals that were late or missing from the meetings were supposed to evaluate these students.  Their behavior was so disrespectful and unprofessional.  The frustrated individual wrote a note to higher ups detailing the problem and requested a change in their behavior.  It was so wonderful to hear about him standing up to what was wrong within his organization.

So many people stand by and tolerate bad behavior by saying or doing nothing.  I salute those warriors who are up to the challenge of making things happen for the better of all.

Be the one to get it done!

One Question

I was on a call with several other business professionals and someone mentioned the "secret question". I asked if that was thinking about a question you want answered and listening for possibilities and hints to the answer in a conversation. "Yes", they replied.  They were surprised I knew what it was without asking.  In reality, it is one of a million techniques to inspire your creativity. 

I decided to create my own version of the secret question.  In the past, I have encouraged those who want to up their creativity factor to write down three questions each day and think about them throughout the day.  It is not a requirement to solve them - but be open to any ideas that might come up in relation to the questions.  It may be how to fix a problem, handle a difficult person, or a decision you are contemplating. The questions can be about anything.  I tried the experiment myself and found that I frequently forgot completely about the questions. So, I decided that one "secret" question each day would be more reasonable and easier to focus on.

The first question I posed myself was "How could I get into the habit of writing every day?".  Everything else always seemed to get in the way.  From proposals to clients to laundry and grocery shopping - there was always something else that needed to be done.  No sooner had I put that question into my head, then the next person to speak on the call mentioned she was having trouble getting into her writing and presented two challenges she was committing to. One was to write several hours a day and the other was to get a few friends lined up to review parts of her book every week. Now there was commitment!  And - there was the answer to my question - committing to a certain amount of time and lining up friends to review my writing - which means I had to have something to give them.

It's working. What question will you play with tomorrow?

Risk and the Blue Jean Pile

It needed to be done.  They were multiplying on the hangers and it needed to be done.  I grabbed the whole rack of them, it must have been twenty at least, and pulled them out in one giant armful that I couldn't see over as I walked and dropped them in a pile on the bedroom floor.  My jean collection now lay in a neat stack on the floor and a whole section of open space existed in my closet.  Well, step one accomplished.  They weren't going back until I went through every one of them and tried them on and made a decision.

With each pair of jeans there's a story.  There is the pair I had my first horseback riding lesson in, (is that the day I became a real Texan?) and continue to ride in - just enough stretch to allow me to swing my leg over the horse to mount.  I wouldn't wear them anywhere else.  They probably shed horse hair as I walk even though they are washed after every ride.  Another pair is the one that I truly wore until the material became baby soft.  It takes a long time to get a pair of jeans to that state.  And the stories go on.

So, it is hard to let go of them.  I separated them into piles; ones that I was sure needed to be thrown out or given away, ones that I wasn't sure about and ones that I would keep.  At least I was making progress. Finally they went on for the final fitting and decisions were made.  A bag of beloved jeans made its way to the garage to wait for a Goodwill delivery date. 

The same kind of process happens when we want to make a change or take a risk.  We hesitate. We look at the risk as something that is too big to tackle right now or as a situation where we are not sure about the outcome and we put it off.

If we can just break it down into smaller pieces (i.e. smaller piles) and tackle it piece by piece, we are finally able to break through and make some progress.  There are emotional obstacles to overcome, but they too fall.  And the end is finally realized - (the closet is finally clear) and it feels great!

Here's to tackling a risk - bit by bit!

Just Say NO To More Work

I think we are overwhelmed because simple activities or requirements slip quietly into our lives one by one and before we know it we are overloaded.  We didn't think it was a big deal when it came up so we didn't resist but now that we see the whole shebang - it is a big deal. 

Years ago I worked as a contract engineer in technical sales.  We frequently entertained customers - especially on the golf course.  Apparently one salesperson was playing a lot more than they were working and the CEO started mandatory Friday afternoon meetings at 3:00 pm to indirectly address the situation.  We were all punished because he didn't address the situation with the individual and no one would address the unnecessary meetings with the CEO.  I didn't mind at the time because I was contract and the meetings served as an opportunity for me to catch up on everyone else's projects (as I wasn't in the office as frequently as the full time personnel).  If I had worked full time it would have been another one of those "things you had to do but didn't have time for and wasn't necessary that just slipped into your already busy schedule".

I also teach fitness classes at several studios.  One of the studios acquired new stereo equipment and some instructors were unfamiliar with how it worked.  The manager wanted to have a meeting with everyone to provide simple instructions on how to set the controls and wanted to know when I was available.  I said it wouldn't be necessary - that I could easily figure it out and if anyone had questions they could contact her. Whew - an unnecessary meeting avoided!

Take a serious look at your daily and weekly activities. What has slyly slipped into your schedule that could be eliminated? Take a risk - speak up - be a time waster eliminator.

Open the Shade!

A few short weeks ago we were headed to Alaska from Texas on an early evening flight.  All of the window shades were down but I could tell it was still light out and knew we were flying over a magnificent part of the country.  Half of the passengers were nodding off in their seats and the other half were watching the featured movie or engrossed in their own technology. 

"Why wasn't anyone peeking out the window? Were we supposed to keep the shades down the whole time for the movie?  What would happen if I opened my shade - would the airplane police rush to my seat?" A number of questions ran through my head as I contemplated opening the shade.

I decided if I carefully and slowly raised it just a few inches it wouldn't interfere with the movie.  As I peered through the few inches of window I had uncovered I was rewarded with a breathtaking view of snow capped mountains that went on forever. I felt sorry for all of the other people on the plane that were missing this spectacular opportunity.  I shared it with my husband and then reluctantly lowered the shade. Every so often I would raise the shade again and peer under the edge to enjoy the amazing view.  Wow! And no airplane police ever came over to discipline me.

This afternoon I opened a fortune cookie and read my future - "the simplest answer is to act".  How true that is.  We hold ourselves back from taking action because of all the supposed rules or the worries we have that may never actually happen.  What are you missing?  What spectacular dream or vision or experience?  Take a risk - act - evaluate and keep moving forward. 

(Of course - some risks require more analysis and planning - check out our classes or Creatrix assessment on Creativity and Risk Taking if you want to delve deeper into the topic.)

Share the Risk

When we take a risk we don't typically think about taking someone along with us for the ride.  Yet, sharing a risk is one of the best ways to improve your chances of success.
 
I have a friend who works shift work.  When she has Sundays off we typically attend church services together.  It is always a much more interesting event when we go together. One of us may hear something the other missed and share it or we just simply enjoy the event more having someone to hang with. I love to watch my favorite late night show with her also.  The jokes always seem funnier when she is sitting with me watching the show. 

A few years back I went skydiving with a girlfriend.  She was recently divorced and wanted to experience the thrill of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. It seems like it is the thing that divorced people like to do.  We jumped tandem - strapped to an instructor. It was probably the most exciting thing I've ever done.  There is no denying our chances of success were much greater taking the instructor along for the ride versus jumping on our own - at least the first time!

Whether it is jumping out of an airplane or telling the boss what you really think about a project or idea, sharing the risk with another person can improve the chances of a successful outcome in so many ways.

Consider taking along a buddy the next time you venture out on a risk.  It may improve your chances of success - or simply your enjoyment of the experience. Either way - it is a win.

Hazards Along Our Path

I love to play golf.

The most intimidating part of the game for me is the sand.  The more sand traps there are on a hole, the more I think about the sand traps. And the more I think about the sand traps, the greater the chance I will end up in one.

Then again, the most intimidating part of the game for me is the water. The more ditches and lakes and ponds full of water, the more I think about the ditches and lakes and ponds full of water.  And the more I think about the ditches and lakes and ponds full of water, the greater the chance I will end up in one. 

So - I focus on the green and the hole and picture my golf ball dropping into the hole.  I am aware of the sand traps and water hazards but I take care to avoid them and focus on the goal of getting the ball into the hole - with the least amount of strokes.  Hmm - great in theory - but in reality it does more often than not work out for me. 

The same is true for any risk we undertake. There will always be hazards and obstacles along the way. As long as we are aware of them we can take the steps to avoid them or prepare for them as much as possible. Sometimes they will still catch us, ones we didn't even consider possible, but more often than not we will be successful in spite of the obstacles in front of us.

Remember though - sometimes the obstacles we imagine will pop up on our journey don't always become an issue. So don't let the fear of a slim possibility keep you from taking the first step on your risk taking journey.

I Bet You Can't Pick Just One

I am beginning to offer a "Yoga Beach Walk" event on a regular basis.  During the event we will alternate between a few yoga poses and a short walk farther down the beach.  At the end, we return to our starting point, relaxing on our beach lounge chairs to watch the sunset.  They are donation based yoga events, meaning you pay what you can and if you can't pay at all - you are welcome too.  Part of the proceeds will be given to a local charity.  The problem is I haven't been able to pick a charity. There are so many worthy causes out there - for healthy hearts, for trees to save the coastline, for meals for seniors, for cancer research, for the Red Cross - the list is endless. How does one choose? 

So, I finally decided to pick a new charity for each walk based on recommendations from attendees - problem solved!

A friend and I were reminiscing about college recently and our initial difficulty in picking a major with so many options available and our diverse interests to complicate the matter.  When we were in school we thought that we had to pick something that we were going to do for the rest of our lives.  As we examined the options nothing stood out as the one career we wanted to have forever. So, we tried a lot of majors ending up with so many extra credit hours in so many diverse areas, sometimes leaving college unable to decide.  If students can remember that a degree in anything is a wonderful accomplishment and that our options are endless possibilities as we grow, it will be easier to make that first choice.   

When taking risks, sometimes the hardest part is just the first step. Remember you can always modify, adjust, and change your mind and your plan. It isn't forever - don't let that first step paralyze you.

So Cute But So Unpredictable

A greeting card commercial follows the best man as he makes his way among the wedding guests.  He innocently makes less than appropriate comments - calling family members' wives by the names of previous partners, commenting about women not knowing he is talking to their spouses and other assorted faux pas.  When the time for him to give his speech to the bride and groom arrives, everyone around him experiences trepidation as he stands and gathers their attention with a clink of his wine glass.  He very eloquently delivers a beautiful and heartfelt speech to the amazement of all of those whose feelings were trampled previously in the evening.  He admits that he didn't write it, (it was delivered word for word from a Hallmark card), but that the feelings were real.  Everyone is delighted and applauds the young man. 

I teach a course on Risk Taking and frequently speak to groups on the subject.  I sometimes begin my presentation inquiring about risks the audience has taken.  They include - "Was it a risk to put your life in the hands of another person to drive you to this event today?", "How much did you really know about your spouse before you married them?" and other points to ponder. 

A recent announcement among friends of a youthful couple's engagement sparked conversations of wedding highs and lows.   One woman lamented that children didn't belong at weddings. As cute as they can be they are so unpredictable and can sometimes be so disruptive if they end up paralyzed with fear and refuse to proceed down the aisle as planned.  Others shared stories of wedding mishaps - tripping, fainting, forgetting to memorize vows - along with stories from tv shows featuring wedding catastrophes. 

We can plan and prepare with great care and detail but it seems that there is always something - not always huge but enough to knock us off our path - when we set off on a mission.  It is how we react to that situation that can determine whether we end up successful or not. 

When we take a risk there are no guarantees that it will work out the way we planned.  But if we prepare for all that we know might happen and leave a little wiggle room for what we can't predict or possibly imagine - and handle it with grace and poise - it will all work out in the end.  Those mishaps end up as lessons learned or as some very entertaining pictures, videos and stories in later years.

That's Just Not Practical!

I was working with a group on creative processes to unleash their innovative ideas. They had been doing things the same way for a number of years and were ready to take a giant leap forward with some new approaches to their company and their responsibilities.  We played with a few exercises and were filling out a random word chart.  A list of random words filled the first column and all of the other cells on the table were blank. I asked the participants to fill in the chart by looking at the first word in each row and to write anything that came to mind in the boxes as they went across the page.  Smirks, sighs, a few laughs but mostly focused writing took place in the room. After a few minutes I invited them to put down their pens and listen to a story. 

I told the tale of a group of people that were brought together to solve a problem up north of ice on power lines that was causing the lines to break.  The invitees were asked to walk about the hotel grounds of their meeting site and bring back a half dozen items that they came across.  One fellow picked up some honey in the gift shop and brought that back to the meeting along with, like his coworkers, several other random objects.  They were instructed to fill in the first column of a chart with the names of these objects, similar to the one my group had before them.  Then they filled out the chart going across the page with the first random thoughts that came to mind.  The fellow that had purchased the honey wrote down "bear", "sweet", "beignets' (after all - he was originally from the south) among other words. The group then went to work, thinking about the ice line problem using the random words on their chart to inspire them and discussed the possibilities. After a while, one person suggested "they could put honey at the top of each pole and bears would be attracted to it, they would climb the poles to get the honey and the poles would shake from the bear's weight and knock the ice off the lines!"   Further discussion led to them to the idea of flying helicopters over the lines so the vibration would shake the lines and release the ice - problem solved!

You can read a different take on the honey story at  http://www.insulators.info/articles/ppl.htm

After sharing this story with my group, I suggested they work on their own organizational issues using the random words in their charts. Several of the groups started working on it right away and quickly moved from nonsense ideas to some thoughts that they might actually be able to implement.  As I moved about the room I noticed a group that appeared stuck. I queried what issues they were contemplating and used a few of their random words to suggest some new ideas. One young lady replied "that's just not practical".  I agreed with her but reminded her of the honey and the bear and suggested that some of their impractical ideas might just lead to something they could implement.  She agreed that was possible and they attacked their issues with a new enthusiasm.

That's just not practical!  Sometimes not - but that's why I like it.

Hazards Along the Way

For my birthday, which happened to land on the Easter holiday/holy day, my family joined me for a round of golf on a beautiful course near our home.  It started off a little overcast, but the sun soon broke through the clouds and remained bright for the rest of the day.  We were playing very well, enjoying each other's company, the beautiful scenery and the cold beer.  Part of the course's beauty is the woods and creeks running through and around the land.  There are also a fair number of sand traps scattered among the holes.  If you are lucky (or should I say skilled?), you manage to avoid most of those hazards.  But even the best golfers can find themselves at the bottom of a ravine or swinging at a ball with sand flying everywhere.  It's not like we don't know these hazards are coming.  The GPS on the golf cart provides numerous details on the course layout, though turtles, snakes and alligators are not on their radar.  If you plan (and play well), you can avoid a majority of these stroke adding areas.  Sometimes you can psyche yourself out thinking too much about a hazard - like the water - and end of splashing right into it because you thought so much about not going in.  Bring extra balls, because that is bound to happen. 

In life, as we go about our business, performing our work or attempting a number of activities and adventures we are bound to come up against some obstacles or hazards.  Some of these are real and if we are careful in our planning we are prepared when they arise. Others are imaginary.  We believe that people won't like something or we will have too many hoops to jump through so we don't even take the first step.  We fail without even trying. 

I encourage you to realistically analyze the possible hazards, prepare for those events that might actually happen and stop letting the imaginary road blocks keep you from taking the first step.

Here's to your dreams coming true - if you will only get out of your own way.

Shoulding

"If you want this - you should do this".  We are bombarded with books, magazines and sometimes friends and family telling us what we should do in order to achieve a certain state of being that they believe we should achieve.  The problem arises when we believe them and follow their shoulds instead of listening to our hearts and our wants and desires. 

An assessment that I use in my Creativity and Risk Taking coaching and training is the Creatrix.  Creativity is the ability to produce new ideas and possibilities. Risk taking is driving the idea forward, even in the face of adversity.  The assessment measures your creativity and risk taking orientations.  We can improve our creativity and risk taking.  The results of the Creatrix give you tips on how to accomplish that.   

One of the drivers for creativity is inner-directedness.  Inner directed people determine their own expectations and norms and march to their own drummer.  They don't let others "should" on them.

So what can you do to be more inner-directed and experience less "shoulding"?

• Start asking - what would I really do in this situation?
• Pay more attention to your intuition and follow through.
• Stop changing your thoughts or behaviors when someone else makes a comment - stick with what is truly you. 

What other ideas do you have?  Please comment here.

All In The Bag

When we start out as children our creativity is free and flowing.  The older we get, the more rules and procedures we are required to follow and the less likely we are to veer from the beaten path.  In order to remind adults to "color outside of the lines" and think outside the proverbial box, I utilize creativity exercises in my speaking engagements and training classes. 

I have an exercise ready for an upcoming session, but decided to have a backup ready in case some of the participants had already been exposed to my game in a previous presentation. I prepared quart size plastic bags for each small group.  I filled the bags with a half dozen items - the same ones in each bag.  This time I included props like a bag of M&M's, a die, and a pipe cleaner. Each group will be given a bag and instructed to create a word using the first letter of each item they were given.  Most people will play with the items in the bag but not think to use the "bag" as one of the items.  What would you have done?

It is a great reminder to look at things differently - from all angles - so as not to miss an opportunity.  Remember, it's not "all in the bag"!

Un-Like Minded People

I attend a variety of business organization meetings, attracted to them based on the topic.  I've heard from oil and gas executives, human resource personnel, engineers, marketing gurus, coaches and dreamers.  I find it thought provoking, inspiring and motivating to spice up my life with this variety of information and perspectives.

At one recent meeting the new people were invited to stand up and introduce themselves.  Many times in their introductions I hear that term "like-minded" people used.  They are delighted to be in the presence of like minded individuals.  There is nothing wrong with that.  I like to work or party with like minded people also.

But I propose that we could up our enjoyment of life, our creativity and our enthusiasm for things we have lost enthusiasm for if we associated with "un-like minded people".  If you want to be more creative, try a few of these things off my list -

• Challenge yourself with three problems every day
• Brainstorm with friends
• Hang out with people you don't typically hang out with
• Work on your self-talk - remind yourself how creative you are
• Cross-train in the arts - try painting or piano lessons or something you've always wanted to try
• Nurture a secret work project
• Join an inventor’s or a writer's club

Let me know what new ideas or insights arise from this challenge.

Treasures All Around Us

I attended an afternoon workshop on defining and working with all the resources available to you to move your personal development or your business forward.  It was an interesting look at all we have around us that we typically forget or pass over as we rush through our week.  We were asked to make a list of 100 resources that we have and were given a few minutes to complete the task.  Pens and fingers on tablets moved furiously down the page listing person after person and item after item.  Most people had 30 or more resources listed in a very short time.  We shared part of our list with the group and the ideas from others in the room inspired us to add to our lists.  One that I mentioned was clutter.  We think of it as junk but if we were to go through many of the boxes stuffed in our attic or under a bed - we might find treasures that could be used in our work or in some other way we hadn't previously considered.  A teacher friend of mine planned to have her students help her sort through some boxes of supplies she had accumulated over the years.  She knew that they would be able to come up with numerous ideas on how the "stuff" could be used in alternative ways.  Those little ones were creative problem solvers. 

As I look around the yoga room at the gym I find a number of resources available to the class that we aren't taking advantage of.  We could use the walls to help us balance or open our shoulders as we try to stack our hips and shoulders on top of each other in a one-legged balance, or stuff a sock under the heel of our hand to help take pressure out of the risk in a pose, or hold onto our friend to assist in our balance or gently pushing their leg higher to give them more of a stretch - so many resources around us that easily get ignored.

When is the last time you looked at your stuff and played with ways to utilize it differently? 

Engage friends, family or co-workers for a brainstorming session around a box of stored items and see what possibilities emerge. 

The Funnies With a Bit of Truth

I love to read the comics on Sunday (and every other day as well).  I don't usually read them all but I do have a few favorites that I am faithful to.  One of them is "Dilbert".  Maybe it is because I left the corporate world (took a risk) and can now laugh at the things that used to stress me out when I was in the middle of them.  It is amazing how close to reality the comic is. But I suppose it is because real people write to Scott Adams with their real work problems and "can you believe he or she did this?" stories that make it so great.  It is good to be able to laugh at the craziness around us. 

Along with "Peanuts" and "Garfield" I occasionally catch "Funky Winkerbean".  Today it is the story of a student at a book signing.  The author asks if she is a student and she replies "yes, I want to teach music, but I'm not sure that I have what it takes to be a band director".  The author tells her you never know until you try and to err on the side of confidence.  She asks "what if I fail?".  He replies that "it is a possibility but just make sure that it's a failure of risk rather than a failure of timidity".  Not doing is as much of a risk as doing.

I recently wrote about my adventures in trapeze flying.  It is not surprising that the same feelings that arise when you are about to take a physical risk are similar to the feelings that arise when we take a personal risk.  We may be about to change our career or tell someone what we really think or make a change to something that has worked for years.  Those same feelings of anxiety, tightness in the chest, fast heartbeat and shaking can happen with any of those choices.  Not doing can also produce those feelings.  My girlfriend stood at the top of the platform several times. She hesitated every time the trapeze flyers said "hep" - for jump!  Finally, near the end of our flying time, she jumped and loved every minute of it.  She was upset with herself for hesitating all of the previous times. 

Don't regret the things you didn't say or didn't try. Take a chance and enjoy the flight!

Just Jump!

I experienced this years ago at a Jamaican resort. The nightly entertainment at the hotel included a group of circus performers who swung through the air with the greatest of ease!  During the day you could try the trapeze with them as your guides. I remember climbing up the narrow ladder to the platform to try my hand at swinging through the air.  It was scary and fun at the same time.  It didn't hurt that the performers, my teachers, were very good looking men.  I remember flipping and getting caught by the other performer and landing safely in the net after my adventure.  Squeals and screams attracted other vacationers to see what the commotion was all about.  I was great for business!

I was ready to do it again.  I convinced a friend recently that this would be a great thing to try.  I discovered a facility a few hours away in Austin. I offered the adventure to my yoga students but none of them seemed interested in trying to kill themselves - as they described it.  So, my girl friend, (the only one crazy - or brave enough to join me?) and I headed West to "join the circus".  

We arrived at the trapeze school, signed our life away and proceeded to gear up - getting wrapped and clipped and cinched to uncomfortable levels.  Then it was time to climb.  This time, the trapeze seemed so much higher.  The climb up the tiny ladder to the platform 30 feet in the air seemed so much scarier.  Once at the top I was clipped to safety by the assistant as she unclipped me from one cable for safely climbing the ladder to the other cable for safety on the platform. "Hold on to that pole" she said "so that I can get you clipped". I hugged the pole like my life depended on it - and it did.  Finally, I was ready to go. She asked me to step the the edge of the platform and put all ten toes over the edge.  My body wouldn't move forward, but knowing that others waited below me for their turn finally propelled me to the edge of the platform.  I was clipped and strapped and there was a net and there wasn't any reason to fear for my life - but I did.  I reached out and grabbed the trapeze and she held me while I leaned forward like Rose Dewitt in the Titanic movie at the front of the ship.  I waited for the cue - "Hep" - to jump.  And I did, screaming all the way - and it was incredibly awesome. 

Even though we prepare to take a risk and do all the research, and even when we've done it before - it can still be a little scary to jump.  Trust in yourself.  It will be so much more fun than you ever imagined. 

Press Return

I must have sat there for five minutes or more looking over the contract, checking every entry over and over again making sure the information was entered correctly.  I was confirming reservations for a beach house for a first time ever retreat event.  It had been in the works for many months and was finally becoming a reality. I had rechecked all of the costs,  planned the daily events and meals, toured the beach house, checked the view and the rooms - all set for perfection.  There were even several people already interested in the event so it was sure to be sold out with a waiting list for the next one.  But still, I hesitated.  Finally, I pressed return and it was final.  Then the excitement began with the telling and the sharing of this unique event unfolding. 

What was stopping me from pressing the return? That there was no return?  That once I pressed the return key I was committed and the event had to move forward?  Was it simply me getting in the way of me?

Our ideas flow but the pen does not make it to the paper.  The right words come to mind but they never exit our mouth for the other person to hear.  The doors close on one more opportunity as we stand at the threshold of our dreams and yet we pause.  What prevents us from taking the risk?

Sometimes it is just that we need to do a little more research to assure ourselves all is in order or check out some of the worst case scenarios.  But usually it is just a little fear that needs to get pushed off to the side. We need to get out of our own way - press return - and stop worrying. 

Boundaries

We are often advised to set and keep boundaries.  I teach a class for new supervisors and managers and one of the key strategies is to consider how boundaries change as you move up the ladder.  Some people were your buddies and now they work for you.  Activities you might have participated in with them before or information that you were allowed to share with them has changed.  You might want to consider what is ok and what is not ok regarding performance.  If an employee is five minutes late, is that ok?  What is not acceptable in terms of attendance?  There are many considerations. 

It is also very helpful to look at boundaries from a personal perspective, considering what is acceptable and not acceptable and what you will do if someone tries to step over your boundaries.  It is easier to think and plan beforehand than to be faced with the situation and try to decide right then.

As helpful as it is to set and respect boundaries, our boundaries sometimes hold us back from progressing toward our desired goals.  Are you keeping yourself from succeeding by forming boundaries or obstacles that you think are in your way but when you really come up against them - they melt away or never show up as expected?  Or worst case, you never find them because you never took the first step to move toward them out of fear.  You want to write a book but think no one will be interested in it so you put off writing the first pages.  You dream of owning your own business but never take the time to write a business plan and take the first steps to making your dream come true.  You imagine that you aren't smart enough or rich enough or fast enough or a number of other fallacies. 

Don't let imaginary boundaries stifle your creativity and risk taking.

Stand Out - Be Different

We escaped to the beach in Florida to avoid the cold weather and celebrate the New Year.  To some, fifty degrees does not seem like weather you need to escape from but to Texans, fifty degrees is cold.  

I love to walk the beach in the morning before the crowds start their journey up and down the water's edge.  The beach is full of shells that crunch beneath your step.  As I walk a colorful or unusually shaped specimen will catch my eye.  I pause to bend down to pick it up, delighting in the uniqueness of my find.  I carefully add it to the growing collection in my hand. 

There are millions of shells on the beach, but it is the one that stands out from the crowd that catches our attention and interest. 

What are you doing to stand out from the crowd?  What risks have you taken or are you taking to express your uniqueness?

Toss It

Every time I moved into a new group at work or earned a promotion, my office location would change.  I always liked the move. It gave me a chance to clean out my files, reorganize and start fresh.  But there was always a bit of hesitation working through the file folders as I tried to decide whether to throw something out or store it in the cabinet for possible future use.  What if I threw this information away and needed it in a few months? What would I do?  So many times I ended up keeping the file instead of trashing it.  I think it might have been because one time I threw something away and ended up needing it a few months later. One time!  I was saving all of this extra information because of one time.  Hmm.  We need to adjust that one.

I was going through the bags of stuff my husband and son had removed from a home office purging frenzy. I wanted to check to make sure there weren't some items that could be recycled or given away instead of trashed.  My son helped my husband work through the clutter.  It really helped to have someone that was not emotionally attached to the stuff to assist him in the somewhat painful process.  The other person can help us see how silly some of our reasons for keeping things can be.

Take a risk - and let things go that need to leave.