Press Return

I must have sat there for five minutes or more looking over the contract, checking every entry over and over again making sure the information was entered correctly.  I was confirming reservations for a beach house for a first time ever retreat event.  It had been in the works for many months and was finally becoming a reality. I had rechecked all of the costs,  planned the daily events and meals, toured the beach house, checked the view and the rooms - all set for perfection.  There were even several people already interested in the event so it was sure to be sold out with a waiting list for the next one.  But still, I hesitated.  Finally, I pressed return and it was final.  Then the excitement began with the telling and the sharing of this unique event unfolding. 

What was stopping me from pressing the return? That there was no return?  That once I pressed the return key I was committed and the event had to move forward?  Was it simply me getting in the way of me?

Our ideas flow but the pen does not make it to the paper.  The right words come to mind but they never exit our mouth for the other person to hear.  The doors close on one more opportunity as we stand at the threshold of our dreams and yet we pause.  What prevents us from taking the risk?

Sometimes it is just that we need to do a little more research to assure ourselves all is in order or check out some of the worst case scenarios.  But usually it is just a little fear that needs to get pushed off to the side. We need to get out of our own way - press return - and stop worrying. 

Boundaries

We are often advised to set and keep boundaries.  I teach a class for new supervisors and managers and one of the key strategies is to consider how boundaries change as you move up the ladder.  Some people were your buddies and now they work for you.  Activities you might have participated in with them before or information that you were allowed to share with them has changed.  You might want to consider what is ok and what is not ok regarding performance.  If an employee is five minutes late, is that ok?  What is not acceptable in terms of attendance?  There are many considerations. 

It is also very helpful to look at boundaries from a personal perspective, considering what is acceptable and not acceptable and what you will do if someone tries to step over your boundaries.  It is easier to think and plan beforehand than to be faced with the situation and try to decide right then.

As helpful as it is to set and respect boundaries, our boundaries sometimes hold us back from progressing toward our desired goals.  Are you keeping yourself from succeeding by forming boundaries or obstacles that you think are in your way but when you really come up against them - they melt away or never show up as expected?  Or worst case, you never find them because you never took the first step to move toward them out of fear.  You want to write a book but think no one will be interested in it so you put off writing the first pages.  You dream of owning your own business but never take the time to write a business plan and take the first steps to making your dream come true.  You imagine that you aren't smart enough or rich enough or fast enough or a number of other fallacies. 

Don't let imaginary boundaries stifle your creativity and risk taking.

Stand Out - Be Different

We escaped to the beach in Florida to avoid the cold weather and celebrate the New Year.  To some, fifty degrees does not seem like weather you need to escape from but to Texans, fifty degrees is cold.  

I love to walk the beach in the morning before the crowds start their journey up and down the water's edge.  The beach is full of shells that crunch beneath your step.  As I walk a colorful or unusually shaped specimen will catch my eye.  I pause to bend down to pick it up, delighting in the uniqueness of my find.  I carefully add it to the growing collection in my hand. 

There are millions of shells on the beach, but it is the one that stands out from the crowd that catches our attention and interest. 

What are you doing to stand out from the crowd?  What risks have you taken or are you taking to express your uniqueness?

Toss It

Every time I moved into a new group at work or earned a promotion, my office location would change.  I always liked the move. It gave me a chance to clean out my files, reorganize and start fresh.  But there was always a bit of hesitation working through the file folders as I tried to decide whether to throw something out or store it in the cabinet for possible future use.  What if I threw this information away and needed it in a few months? What would I do?  So many times I ended up keeping the file instead of trashing it.  I think it might have been because one time I threw something away and ended up needing it a few months later. One time!  I was saving all of this extra information because of one time.  Hmm.  We need to adjust that one.

I was going through the bags of stuff my husband and son had removed from a home office purging frenzy. I wanted to check to make sure there weren't some items that could be recycled or given away instead of trashed.  My son helped my husband work through the clutter.  It really helped to have someone that was not emotionally attached to the stuff to assist him in the somewhat painful process.  The other person can help us see how silly some of our reasons for keeping things can be.

Take a risk - and let things go that need to leave.