You Look Like the Most Interesting Group Here - May I Join You?

I recently attended a woman's business event that featured a panel of coaches providing tips on networking. They each had a different focus but they connected their ideas well to each other. The subject matter was more appropriate for younger professionals or those just out of school entering the business world, but I was able to take away a few good reminders, especially for my young professional clients.

One attendee brought up a question at the end on approaching a group of men at a networking event. She is usually the lone woman at male dominated events and wanted to know how to break into a group that looked like they were intensely discussing a topic she might not have particular knowledge on. 

I shared that I grew up with five brothers and as a female engineer I usually found myself surrounded by men at many events throughout my career. I am very comfortable working with them and attending events where I might be the only female in the room. I shared a tip on breaking into a group at an event that I came up with when I found myself in a room of over two hundred oil and gas executives in suits. I was one of the few females and I didn't know a soul. I grabbed my drink at the bar, checked out the reception room, and went up to a group that looked interesting. I said, "You look like the most interesting group in the room, may I join you?" And the answer was, "of course!". Later, I approached a table with a few men sitting at it and asked if I could join them. The answer, again, was "of course!".

For many, approaching a group of strangers, male or female, may be a bit of a risk. But don't be afraid - they are looking forward to meeting you.

If you are at an event and notice a man or woman that appears to be looking for a group to connect with - invite them in. Everyone will be better off for your kind gesture.

If you would like more ideas and tips for networking, e-mail me at margaret@ideasandbeyond.com. I look forward to connecting with you.

S.W.O.W.! - 21 Day Risk Taking Challenge - Are You In?

10 Day Cycle Challenge

Leads to 21 Day Risk Challenge -

Leads to S.W.O.W.!

I teach indoor cycle and yoga at a few gyms in the area.  July is a popular vacation month for many so I find that opportunities to sub classes for other instructors while they are out of town abound.  In the last week and a half I taught a total of ten cycling classes - well above my normal two a week. Before the craziness began, I invited members and Facebook friends to join in a challenge to take all ten classes with me.  Several people accepted the challenge, and a few actually were able to attend all of them.  I was SO proud of them - including those that came close to doing them all.

When I arrived in the cycling room last evening to teach the tenth class, I noticed a bag of water bottles with a card attached to it near my bike on the instructor platform.  I always bring a cooler of cold water bottles to class for those that forget or run out of water. Someone had gifted me a whole bag - how thoughtful.  I didn't have a chance to open the card until after class and was delighted to read this message - "Dear Margaret - Challenge Completed! Thanks for encouraging me to do something I didn't think I could do. You're awesome". Actually - she is awesome - not me.  But I delight in her success. 

What do you think will happen for her now?  She stretched herself beyond her comfort zone and found strength she didn't know she had.  I foresee her taking more risks and accepting more challenges and continuing to grow. S.W.O.W.! is born.  

If you would like to expand yourself beyond your comfort zone and experience a little more S.W.O.W! in your life - take my free 21 Day Risk Challenge. Each day, starting August 1, a new challenge will be posted in this blog.  You can accept it, modify it, or reject it and make up your own.  But you have to at least take some type of risk that day.  At the end of 21 days - August 21 to be exact - post in the comment section below about your experience - what you learned about yourself or what has changed in you for the better. Everyone that posts a comment on their results will be entered into a random drawing for a variety of $25 gift cards - from Macy's to the Cheesecake Factory. I will be taking the risks along with you.

If you become a blog follower - the risks should arrive in your e-mail box everyday - or you can check back here in the blog for the next day's challenge.  I look forward to your stories.

Day 1 - try some type of exercise that you've never tried before.  You can go to a class at a studio or gym or look up some exercises on the Internet.  It can be as simple as jumping rope, a walk in the park, the hula hoop or a new dance step - whatever you choose.

Day 2 - tell a stranger something nice about them that you observed.   If you are in the grocery line and notice something about the person in front of you or behind you - let them know (positive things!).  Approach someone new at a business networking event or other.  If this isn't a stretch for you  - how could you modify this challenge to make it a stretch?

Day 3 - ask for what you need or want.  One of my friends wanted to work in the Paris, France (not Texas!) office of the company she worked for but never let management know that was her desire. She hinted toward it but never outright asked or told them her goal. So - what happened? She's not in Paris. Ask for what you need or want - they don't know if you don't let them know.

Day 4 - let go of something you know isn't serving you any more.  Is it work files that you hold onto that you think you might need someday or some other clutter at home?   Is it a relationship that you keep tolerating when that person is annoying you or not treating you very well?  It might be time to let it go.  

Day 5 - reach out to someone you admire but are afraid to talk to.  I frequently hear clients say that they admire someone at work at a high level, saw an article about someone who had taken action and was living the dream they had, 

Day 6 - go home from work on time.  Don't stay late. Is it possible for you?  If you are an entrepreneur - don't do any work after 5:00pm.    What do you notice? What are you afraid of?

Day 7 - say that something that really needs to be said. I miss The Tonight Show with Jay Leno but have been and continue to give Jimmy Fallon a chance.  I watched it the other night because a favorite of mine - Meryl Streep - was a guest. Jimmy asked her questions but never let her reply - he answered for her or talked over her while she was talking. He does it frequently. I posted on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon Facebook page and trust the message will get through to the right people.  Say it - tactfully and professionally. 

Day 8 - say no.  Are you overwhelmed with a full schedule?  Pay attention to what you really need and what will bring you joy and don't be afraid to say no to overbooking.

Day 9 - try a new look.  Cut or color you hair a new way. Shave your mustache.  Try a new style or color of clothing.  One of my girlfriends almost always wore black to the gym. She wore a colorful shirt one day after years of her old pattern. What a difference.  Give it a try. It will have pleasant rippling effects.  

Day 10 - do it differently. Take a different route to work, manage a meeting differently, take a risk and change a habit - a little or drastically.  

Day 11 - go check out a different crowd. Attend the organizational meeting of a group you don't typically associate with.  My husband and I went to a sports bar called Quaker Steak and Lube for a Green Bay Packers game against the Vikings (we are Viking fans and were the only ones in a see of Cheeseheads!).  We met a lot of new friends and had a great time. 

Day 12 - turn off you cell phone for a day. See what you've been missing. (What are you afraid of if you really do it?)

Day 13 - speak up when you see something wrong and do something about it.  I am ready to write a letter to Chevy - In their latest commercial they promote a screen on the dashboard with text responses to select from - to respond to incoming texts you listen to from your phone that is connected by blue tooth - they think this will help people keep their eyes on the road - I think it is a big mistake and will write to them and let them know.  What will you speak up about today?

Day 14 - ask for feedback from someone on how you are doing.  Ask your boss or your kids or your significant other or your class or anyone you can think of - for feedback on these three questions - (I think you will be pleasantly surprised about their thoughts - I asked my cycle class to answer these questions - good stuff!)
1. What am I doing that you like and want me to keep doing? 
2. What am I doing that you don't like and want me to stop doing?
3. What am I not doing that you would like me to start doing?  

Day 15 - sign up for something new.  Take a class you've always wanted to take or sign up to start a whole degree program at a community college or university.  Sign up to rescue an animal. Sign up to be the chairman of an organization.  Sign up to volunteer for a charitable organization.  Sign up - get started.

Day 16 - take the first step toward a goal you've always wanted but you've been procrastinating on. What is it? Your goal is to get a promotion at work so the first step is asking for more responsibility. You want to lose weight so the first step is joining an exercise or weight loss group.  You want to be a writer so the first step is submitting an article to a magazine for publication?  Take that step today.

Day 17 - admit you don't know.  Do you stay quiet in class when the professor asks if there are any questions?  Do you hesitate to ask a question in a meeting at work because you are worried it is a dumb question?  Admit you don't know.

Day 18 - do something you want to do but don't think you can do.  I subbed a bunch of cycle classes a few weeks ago - so in ten days I taught ten classes (I usually teach two a week). I challenged my members to do all ten. One woman did and gave me a note after thanking me. She said it was something she didn't think she could do but I inspired and motivated her and she was able to accomplish it.  


Day 19 - accept a challenge - the obstacles you are afraid of aren't likely to materialize.  I played the song "Mustang Sally" tonight in indoor cycle class.  I challenged the class to turn their dial to the right, adding resistance and therefore more hill to their workout every time the artist, Wilson Pickett, sang the words "Mustang Sally". "Are you in?" I asked.  I received a less than enthusiastic response though some signaled they were up to the challenge. It turns out that the phrase "Ride Sally Ride" is sung quite a bit more in the song. Mustang Sally is only repeated only a few times. So the numerous extra turns of the dial they were afraid of never materialized.   

And so it is with the risks we avoid in life.  We imagine all of the obstacles we will come up against - and many of them never happen. And if they do - we are more than capable of handling them.   So take on the challenge.  Take a chance. Do it!  you'll be fine.

Day 20 - wow - almost there! - make the call you've been procrastinating about.  Do you need to follow up on a resume you sent in. Is there someone you've wanted to ask out and you haven't yet. Do you need to call up a friend with a serious illness and don't know what to say - so you haven't called?  Do you need to tell someone you love them.  Make the call.

Day 21!!! - you did it - here we are - day 21 - congratulations! The risk for today is to scare yourself just a little bit. Do whatever it is that will push you a little bit beyond your comfort zone - scare you just a little bit. 

Don't forget to comment below - what you learned about yourself or what has changed in you for the better as a result taking more risks this month. You have until midnight August 31 to post your feedback.  Everyone that comments will be entered in a random drawing for $25 gift cards.  I look forward to your stories.

NOTE: Don't worry if you are late starting - you have all of August to do 21 risks.  Get started today.
Need help taking these risks or others you are procrastinating on? Give me a call at (281)648-0380

Ingenious Waitress

 

When I was young I remember reading a novel that started off with a woman heading into a publishing company for an interview. While she was waiting in the lobby for her appointment she overheard an executive ask his assistant to find a copy of an old magazine. The woman waiting to be interviewed ran to the elevator and headed to another suite on a different floor.  She knew there was a doctor's office in the building and they always have old magazines.  She found the office, checked out the magazines in their waiting room and found the one the executive had mentioned.  She returned to the publishing company and handed the executive the magazine she had unearthed.  Not surprising - she got the job on the spot!  I always loved that story and wanted to be "that girl". I found her in person on a recent trip.

There is a golf networking organization for women called Women On Course. I highly recommend it for anyone interested in learning golf, improving their golf game, or avid golfers looking for other fun women to play with. I was on a weekend trip with the group at the Hyatt Lost Pines Resort and Spa just outside of Austin.  It has a beautiful and challenging golf course, a variety of pools, hot tubs, water slides, and all sorts of activities for non-golfers too.  You never have to leave the resort. 

One evening my girlfriends and I were having dinner in the bar.   We brought cards to play Euchre - a game I was raised on in Michigan.  (Want to join our next tournament at my house? - e-mail me - newbies welcome). We were enjoying our food and the game on the patio but it was starting to get a little dark. I asked the waitress if she had any candles or other table lights.  "I think they might have some in the restaurant next door", she said. "Let me see what I can do".  In a few minutes she returned with several candles for our table.  

I asked for a Diet Coke when she took our drink order. We only have Diet Pepsi was the response so, I accepted it.  But when it arrived, it tasted a bit strange.  The waitress said she would get me a can.  She quickly returned with a glass of ice and a can of Diet Coke.  Now where did she find that since their restaurant didn't even serve it? The employee refrigerator? - we joked. 

Later, she asked us if she could get us anything else. I jokingly shouted out - chocolate.  Her reply? :"I'll see what I can do!".  A few minutes later she came back with two pieces of dark chocolate cake for us to share. It wasn't on the menu.  Maybe she got them from a party since there were a lot of celebrations going on at the resort from weddings to family reunions. We aren't really sure - but it was really good and free!

I tried to think of something for her to find that would be a real challenge.  I mean - really - this woman was resourceful, creative and up to any request.  What wouldn't she be able to do?  

We left it at a huge tip and letter to her manager commending her on her service, attitude and amazing ingenuity. 

We can all take a lesson from her.  When presented with any request, respond with "let me see what I can do" instead of "no way - that's impossible"!  See how your results change.  I look forward to your stories.

Just Right - Like Goldilocks and the Three Bears

"It's a little too much", he said.  "Well, what if you were to do this, how does that feel to you?", I asked. "That's not really enough.  I wouldn't feel challenged", he replied.  "What would put you right in the middle of a little too much and not enough?"  He laughed and found the perfect place and space for himself.  We were talking about connecting with potential clients and how to move forward with a particular individual.  

Most people are familiar with the childhood story of Goldilocks and the three bears.  If you aren't or need a reminder - 

A little girl named Goldilocks, (for her beautiful blonde curly hair), went for a walk in the woods and came upon a house. She knocked but no one answered so she went in. She was hungry and tried the porridge on the table - one was too hot, one was too cold, the third was just right so she ate it all up.  Then she was getting a little tired so she went into the living room and saw three chairs.  Two were too big, and one was just right. She sat in it but it broke into pieces. Then she was getting really tired and decided to go upstairs. She tried out the beds. One was too hard, one was too soft and the third was just right so she fell asleep on it.  In the meantime, the bears came home and noticed the porridge gone, the broken chair and found Goldilocks in the bed. She woke up and ran away screaming and never returned.  For a more detailed version of the story - follow this link - http://www.dltk-teach.com/rhymes/goldilocks_story.htm

I direct my yoga students on the Goldilocks philosophy. "Take the pose to the place where you feel it, but not so much that you cross the line to feeling pain.  If you are breathing through your mouth you are working too hard. Not too hard, not too soft - just right."

I share with my coaching clients and encourage those listening to me at speaking events when I present on risk taking.  "What level of risk taking are you comfortable with?  What is your risk taking goal? What would you have to do to push yourself just a little bit beyond your comfort zone to make that goal a reality?"

If we stay too comfortable and don't challenge ourselves we may never reach the place we want to be.  If we push too hard we may end up exhausted. overwhelmed and quit too early. Find the place that is JUST RIGHT for you. Here's to your success!