I Bet You Can't Pick Just One

I am beginning to offer a "Yoga Beach Walk" event on a regular basis.  During the event we will alternate between a few yoga poses and a short walk farther down the beach.  At the end, we return to our starting point, relaxing on our beach lounge chairs to watch the sunset.  They are donation based yoga events, meaning you pay what you can and if you can't pay at all - you are welcome too.  Part of the proceeds will be given to a local charity.  The problem is I haven't been able to pick a charity. There are so many worthy causes out there - for healthy hearts, for trees to save the coastline, for meals for seniors, for cancer research, for the Red Cross - the list is endless. How does one choose? 

So, I finally decided to pick a new charity for each walk based on recommendations from attendees - problem solved!

A friend and I were reminiscing about college recently and our initial difficulty in picking a major with so many options available and our diverse interests to complicate the matter.  When we were in school we thought that we had to pick something that we were going to do for the rest of our lives.  As we examined the options nothing stood out as the one career we wanted to have forever. So, we tried a lot of majors ending up with so many extra credit hours in so many diverse areas, sometimes leaving college unable to decide.  If students can remember that a degree in anything is a wonderful accomplishment and that our options are endless possibilities as we grow, it will be easier to make that first choice.   

When taking risks, sometimes the hardest part is just the first step. Remember you can always modify, adjust, and change your mind and your plan. It isn't forever - don't let that first step paralyze you.

So Cute But So Unpredictable

A greeting card commercial follows the best man as he makes his way among the wedding guests.  He innocently makes less than appropriate comments - calling family members' wives by the names of previous partners, commenting about women not knowing he is talking to their spouses and other assorted faux pas.  When the time for him to give his speech to the bride and groom arrives, everyone around him experiences trepidation as he stands and gathers their attention with a clink of his wine glass.  He very eloquently delivers a beautiful and heartfelt speech to the amazement of all of those whose feelings were trampled previously in the evening.  He admits that he didn't write it, (it was delivered word for word from a Hallmark card), but that the feelings were real.  Everyone is delighted and applauds the young man. 

I teach a course on Risk Taking and frequently speak to groups on the subject.  I sometimes begin my presentation inquiring about risks the audience has taken.  They include - "Was it a risk to put your life in the hands of another person to drive you to this event today?", "How much did you really know about your spouse before you married them?" and other points to ponder. 

A recent announcement among friends of a youthful couple's engagement sparked conversations of wedding highs and lows.   One woman lamented that children didn't belong at weddings. As cute as they can be they are so unpredictable and can sometimes be so disruptive if they end up paralyzed with fear and refuse to proceed down the aisle as planned.  Others shared stories of wedding mishaps - tripping, fainting, forgetting to memorize vows - along with stories from tv shows featuring wedding catastrophes. 

We can plan and prepare with great care and detail but it seems that there is always something - not always huge but enough to knock us off our path - when we set off on a mission.  It is how we react to that situation that can determine whether we end up successful or not. 

When we take a risk there are no guarantees that it will work out the way we planned.  But if we prepare for all that we know might happen and leave a little wiggle room for what we can't predict or possibly imagine - and handle it with grace and poise - it will all work out in the end.  Those mishaps end up as lessons learned or as some very entertaining pictures, videos and stories in later years.

That's Just Not Practical!

I was working with a group on creative processes to unleash their innovative ideas. They had been doing things the same way for a number of years and were ready to take a giant leap forward with some new approaches to their company and their responsibilities.  We played with a few exercises and were filling out a random word chart.  A list of random words filled the first column and all of the other cells on the table were blank. I asked the participants to fill in the chart by looking at the first word in each row and to write anything that came to mind in the boxes as they went across the page.  Smirks, sighs, a few laughs but mostly focused writing took place in the room. After a few minutes I invited them to put down their pens and listen to a story. 

I told the tale of a group of people that were brought together to solve a problem up north of ice on power lines that was causing the lines to break.  The invitees were asked to walk about the hotel grounds of their meeting site and bring back a half dozen items that they came across.  One fellow picked up some honey in the gift shop and brought that back to the meeting along with, like his coworkers, several other random objects.  They were instructed to fill in the first column of a chart with the names of these objects, similar to the one my group had before them.  Then they filled out the chart going across the page with the first random thoughts that came to mind.  The fellow that had purchased the honey wrote down "bear", "sweet", "beignets' (after all - he was originally from the south) among other words. The group then went to work, thinking about the ice line problem using the random words on their chart to inspire them and discussed the possibilities. After a while, one person suggested "they could put honey at the top of each pole and bears would be attracted to it, they would climb the poles to get the honey and the poles would shake from the bear's weight and knock the ice off the lines!"   Further discussion led to them to the idea of flying helicopters over the lines so the vibration would shake the lines and release the ice - problem solved!

You can read a different take on the honey story at  http://www.insulators.info/articles/ppl.htm

After sharing this story with my group, I suggested they work on their own organizational issues using the random words in their charts. Several of the groups started working on it right away and quickly moved from nonsense ideas to some thoughts that they might actually be able to implement.  As I moved about the room I noticed a group that appeared stuck. I queried what issues they were contemplating and used a few of their random words to suggest some new ideas. One young lady replied "that's just not practical".  I agreed with her but reminded her of the honey and the bear and suggested that some of their impractical ideas might just lead to something they could implement.  She agreed that was possible and they attacked their issues with a new enthusiasm.

That's just not practical!  Sometimes not - but that's why I like it.

Hazards Along the Way

For my birthday, which happened to land on the Easter holiday/holy day, my family joined me for a round of golf on a beautiful course near our home.  It started off a little overcast, but the sun soon broke through the clouds and remained bright for the rest of the day.  We were playing very well, enjoying each other's company, the beautiful scenery and the cold beer.  Part of the course's beauty is the woods and creeks running through and around the land.  There are also a fair number of sand traps scattered among the holes.  If you are lucky (or should I say skilled?), you manage to avoid most of those hazards.  But even the best golfers can find themselves at the bottom of a ravine or swinging at a ball with sand flying everywhere.  It's not like we don't know these hazards are coming.  The GPS on the golf cart provides numerous details on the course layout, though turtles, snakes and alligators are not on their radar.  If you plan (and play well), you can avoid a majority of these stroke adding areas.  Sometimes you can psyche yourself out thinking too much about a hazard - like the water - and end of splashing right into it because you thought so much about not going in.  Bring extra balls, because that is bound to happen. 

In life, as we go about our business, performing our work or attempting a number of activities and adventures we are bound to come up against some obstacles or hazards.  Some of these are real and if we are careful in our planning we are prepared when they arise. Others are imaginary.  We believe that people won't like something or we will have too many hoops to jump through so we don't even take the first step.  We fail without even trying. 

I encourage you to realistically analyze the possible hazards, prepare for those events that might actually happen and stop letting the imaginary road blocks keep you from taking the first step.

Here's to your dreams coming true - if you will only get out of your own way.

Shoulding

"If you want this - you should do this".  We are bombarded with books, magazines and sometimes friends and family telling us what we should do in order to achieve a certain state of being that they believe we should achieve.  The problem arises when we believe them and follow their shoulds instead of listening to our hearts and our wants and desires. 

An assessment that I use in my Creativity and Risk Taking coaching and training is the Creatrix.  Creativity is the ability to produce new ideas and possibilities. Risk taking is driving the idea forward, even in the face of adversity.  The assessment measures your creativity and risk taking orientations.  We can improve our creativity and risk taking.  The results of the Creatrix give you tips on how to accomplish that.   

One of the drivers for creativity is inner-directedness.  Inner directed people determine their own expectations and norms and march to their own drummer.  They don't let others "should" on them.

So what can you do to be more inner-directed and experience less "shoulding"?

• Start asking - what would I really do in this situation?
• Pay more attention to your intuition and follow through.
• Stop changing your thoughts or behaviors when someone else makes a comment - stick with what is truly you. 

What other ideas do you have?  Please comment here.