Don't Give Up - Try the Other Door

I was running errands the other day and triumphantly delivered my tax information to the accountant at the last stop.  Preparing all of our personal information and business information is quite a chore.  I try to look at our refund as payment for all of the time spent slaving over the Excel spreadsheets.  It helps alleviate some of my pain.  

I hadn't really had any time to just sit and relax and enjoy nature or meditate lately and decided to stop by the church that was right around the corner from the accountant's office.  When I sit quietly that is one of my best times for ideas to flow.  I love to go into churches when there are no services in progress.  The air is cool, the lights are low and the sound of your steps up the aisle and the flow of the baptismal font are the only sounds breaking the silence.  

I tried one of the main front doors to the church and found it locked. I tried the other doors and came across the same barrier to my entrance - locked!  "How could the church be locked?",  I thought.  It is the best time to enjoy some solitude. Surely there was some mistake.  It was always open on Sunday afternoons but this was a weekday.  Maybe the rules were different for the other days of the week.  I was going to write or call the front office and ask if they could change their policy of door locking so I could enjoy my visits in the future.  Ha - hardheaded reactive me.  I started to head back to the car disappointed.  Then I looked back at the church and remembered the side door. "Let's try a few more doors", I thought as I headed to the side entrance.  The door on the left was also locked but the one on the right was unlocked.  I opened it and slipped in feeling sneaky, like I wasn't supposed to be there and someone had forgotten to lock that door and someone was going to be in trouble.  Lucky me.  Not so lucky them.

I stealthily walked down the hallway and opened a door to the main part of the church and headed down the center aisle.  I found a pew up front by the altar and dropped the kneeler.  Ah - peace and quiet and escape from the hurried pace of a typical day.  

I must have stayed 20 or 30 minutes. A maintenance man and then a priest in plain clothes came in and out of the church but did not disturb me or try to drag me out of the church.  And the best part - ideas flowed. Ideas for parts of my books and problem solutions and other ah ha's. I left the church relaxed and happy and ready for the next work project.

Sometimes we approach a situation and the first thing we try does not work. So many people give up when they run into a brick wall or any small resistance.  I encourage you to "try a few more doors" - hang in there. You may be just one more door knob away from success.  Don't give up. 

Make the Call

I presented a workshop session for a group of 60 people for a client's annual meeting last year. They enjoyed it so much they invited me back to present on another topic.  We had worked through the details and the agenda was set.  In confirmation I was copied on the note that went out to the attendees and noticed that our final description was not included - but a copied agenda from a conference I presented at earlier in the year (though very similar).  That posting mentioned that I would be providing journals to all of the attendees.

Immediately many thoughts started going through my head. Should I go ahead and provide journals to all of the attendees and not worry about it even though it wasn't included in the fee?  Did I miss something in the discussions of what was to be provided? 

It didn't take me very long to make a call to the client to discuss the confusion.  It was all settled in seconds - they certainly hadn't expected me to provide the journals.

But I've heard so many other people in situations where there was a misunderstanding created through e-mail strings; people in a meeting wondering what a higher level manager was thinking and trying to figure it out on their own; or they are upset with another person because of an assumption they hold - and they wrestled with the dilemma without making a call.

It is a risk to make the call.  But it is also a risk to not take any action.

Make the call.  So many times a majority of the things we worry about never happen.

  

Remember the Dale Carnegie quote - " If you have a worry problem, do these three things: 1. Ask yourself: "What is the worst that can possibly happen?" 2. Prepare to accept it if you have to. 3. Them calmly proceed to improve on the worst."

If you would like more - read his book - "How To Stop Worrying and Start Living".

Change the Question - Change the Answer

There was a recent article in the Houston Chronicle regarding how the government is going to require automakers to equip new cars with technology that lets cars warn each other if they are headed toward disaster.  Though it is still may years off, it will be "game changing," as they say. It has the potential to drastically cut collisions, deaths and injuries.  Radio signals would transmit information back and forth about the position of vehicles, where they are headed, how fast they are traveling among other information.   Then the drivers would receive alarms, messages or the car might actually be programmed to react (i.e. automatically brake).  

So where did this come from?  Automotive safety used to focus on how to make sure we survived accidents.  Now, it has changed to how to prevent accidents in the first place.  Change the focus or the question and you change the answers.

Are you stuck making progress in a work or personal area?  What questions are you asking yourself?  Are you getting the same answers?  Try turning the question around.  

Consider a person who is bed ridden from an accident or surgery. You could ask - what kind of things could they do to entertain themselves while they are bedridden? (i.e. read, write, play games, watch tv,...).  If you change the question - how can we get them up and out of the bed and mobile? - the focus changes and the answers and creative ideas flow differently.

Consider a relationship that is struggling. You can ask - how do I get out of this relationship?  Or - what can I do to improve this relationship?  You could apply the same process to your job - how do I get out of this job or how do I make this job more enjoyable or challenging.

Change your focus and your question and you will change the answers and your life.  

Up and Down Lombard Street?

  

Lombard Street in San Francisco is known for the one-way block on Russian Hill, where eight sharp turns are said to make it the crookedest street in the world. The street has been in scenes in many movies and part of a comedy sketch by Bill Cosby where he jokingly remarks that the flowers are planted for those people who killed themselves trying to drive down the crooked street.  

I was so fortunate to be able to spend two weeks in this personal favorite City by the Bay in January. One week was with my family for vacation and the second week was for a conference.  On vacation with the family I rented an SUV one day so that we could visit Twin Peaks, (hills near the center of San Francisco with a complete 360 degree view of the city), the redwoods in Muir Woods and walk the Golden Gate Bridge. Most everything in the city is accessible via walking or public transportation but this would be the most efficient way for us to visit these landmarks in one day.  

At the end of our adventurous day we headed back into the city and toward our hotel.  There was a point where a decision had to be made to go right down a street toward our hotel or head up Lombard street at a very steep grade to only arrive at the top of the crookedest street in the world and drive down the hairpin turns.  My husband is gently advising "no - turn right" and my son is nudging me to head straight up Lombard street.  

I wasn't that comfortable driving the over-sized vehicle in a town where compact cars are the norm and in the past I always felt like my vehicle was going to flip over backwards when driving up steep grades. Maybe it was a bad dream, maybe it was a movie where I saw that happen, but I'm pretty sure there weren't any documented cases of cars flipping over backwards driving up Lombard street.  So, in my head this conversation was going on - talking myself into and out of heading up the hill.  

Up and over won out. 

I headed straight up the hill at the light instead of turning right. Adrenaline was pumping as I still wondered - "would we make it up without tipping over backwards".  

We did.

And we made it down the crooked street slow and steady.  

It was exciting - maybe more so for the kids i the back seats with mom at the wheel.  

Don't let assumptions and negative self talk keep you from going up and over the hill. You  might just be missing out on the time of your life and the opportunity to show your kids you're not a chicken! 

A "Daring" Fashion Show

A "Daring" Fashion Show

 

I have always wanted to attend the Fashion Week in Milan or Paris or New York or London or anywhere!  Friday night I had my chance. Ok - it wasn't Italy - but it was an incredible fashion show in Houston.  Fashion Week in Houston is in its 4th year. It lasts four days, takes place at the Wortham Center in the downtown theatre district and this time featured over sixteen designers including several from Houston.

I attended with several friends and we arrived soon after the doors opened to make sure we wouldn't miss a thing. The front entrance to the Wortham was an official red carpet complete with paparazzi surrounding us to take our pictures. Once inside, we located our seats and then went off discovering what there was to see and do.  We happened to wander into The Green Room, (where celebrities are interviewed and performers can relax).  It became our break room throughout the evening to people watch and enjoy a few free cocktails made with a featured new liquor.  

The show was exactly like I always pictured it would be. Beautiful models with similar hair styles wearing the latest designs of famous designers were paraded up and down the runway, all walking with the same hip thrusting move with their arms quietly at their sides and a serious look on their faces.  Except for one. She delighted the crowd when she reached the end of the runway and shimmied her shoulders to swing the fringe on her top and the beads on her shoulders.  I have to admit, there were quite a few outfits that I could picture myself in but I couldn't picture paying the price.

At the end of the evening we were invited to attend the after party with dancing models and thumping pumping music.  We decided the action inside was not worth the additional $20 cover charge at the door, and headed back to our Green Room to relax and recharge.  It was there I met a VIP member of the press. She mentioned that in addition to the fashion event, there were fabulous affairs happening all over town, and she gave me her card to connect with her on them. I shared my delight at having a new adventure seeking partner with my girlfriends.  They teasingly dared me to ask her if she had passes for the after party.  Not being one to be able to resist a dare, (and not being one to enjoy begging people for anything either), I turned the dare into a playful question.  I asked her "Do you happen to know any secret passageways into the after party?".  To my surprise her reply was "as a matter of fact I do, follow me".  And we did.  Holding hands we followed our fearless leader right up the pitch black hallway and carefully edged our way up the dark stairway into the party.  To our delight, in less than a minute we were right in the middle of the action.  We shared a brief good-bye, checked out the party for a short while and headed out into the late evening to our car, still exhilarated from our fashion adventure.

Moral of the story - It never hurts to ask. You just might find yourself being led up a dark stairway into an adventure you would have otherwise missed if you hadn't taken that dare!

Get Real! - Be Rational!

I saw this image on a t-shirt.  The real number is telling the rational number to get real and the rational number is telling the real number to be rational.  It may be something only a math lover will enjoy (I didn't want to bore you with the definitions - you can Google them if you really want to recall the difference) but it started me thinking about being real.  

I frequently attend business meetings - dinners, lunches and other events.  Most of the time I am in the audience and sometimes I am the headliner.  I have observed thousands of presenters that run the gamut from polished, professional and effective to shaking in their boots or reading their entire performance.  Sometimes the polished ones come across too polished.  It seems like they've given the presentation a hundred times before and they are bored with us, or if someone asked them a question it would throw them off their well-prepared script.  They are entertaining but aren't real.  
When you see real you know it.  The presenter has a story to share and does it so well you are wrapped up in the moment along with them.  You may be called to action and want to jump to your feet to follow as soon as you can.  Or it may be subtle - a great idea that you file away to work on later when you get back home or to the office.  Either way - they impact you.

Being real is a risk. You put yourself and your ideas out there for everyone to see.  

Are you ready to step up to the plate and take a risk?  What are you really afraid of?  How will you push past that barrier and move forward? 

Get real!

Quirky Dot Com

One of my favorite television shows to watch is The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.  It is my humor injection for the day.  I delight in his monologues, headlines, Jay Walking (he walks the area near Universal Studios and asks people questions they should know the answer to - their guesses are hilarious), and other regular "bits".  He is a great interviewer in addition to being an all around funny guy.  In one of the segments he had on recently, the creator of the WEB site company Quirky.com showcased some of the products inventors had submitted.  How it works is inventors submit their product idea to the WEB site, they post the details and visitors to the site vote on the idea.  If it gains a certain amount of attention and positive feedback the Quirky Company produces and markets the product with the inventor reaping part of the profits.  They also post ideas that still might need a little work and visitors offer their insight.  It appears to be a great way to get an idea to market when you don't have the resources or the know-how.

Seeing Quirky.com on The Tonight Show activated my creative mind.  The next day I mentioned it to a guy in my indoor cycling class who always seems to have a solution to problems or a gadget in mind to fix them.  At first he said "ideas are a dime a dozen" popping a pin into my balloon of enthusiasm that started a slow leak - but not a bust!  After class we started discussing different ideas we had for products and my enthusiasm was revived.  He did have some pretty good ideas for products - even a fitness related one - and we both contemplated submitting ideas to Quirky.com. We will see where this goes.

We all have them - idea killers. People who trash our idea or shake their head or give us less than enthusiastic responses when we reveal our latest crazy dream.  Don't let them bring you down. There are a variety of ways to handle them - don't share your ideas with them, share but ignore any negative response, or ask them what they like about the idea, what they might change or what part of the idea is a concern and politely ask for any suggestions. You just might end up with a better idea and someone one your side.